Inspirational

Be the kind of person that when your feet hit

the floor each morning, the devil says:

"Oh no, they're up!"

Introducing: Lutheran Airlines!

(Click above for the You Tube browser page to open)

Selling Bibles

A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.

Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor Louie stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Louie, the minister decided to let him try anyway. He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles and asked them to meet with him to report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

A week later, anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?"

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church."

"Fine job, Jack!", the minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."

Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the Church last week?"

Paul, smiling confidently, stuck out his chest and replied, "I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected."

The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you."

Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?"

Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope.

The minister opened it and counted the contents.

"What’s this Louie, there's $3,200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?”

Louie just nodded.

“That's impossible!", both Jack and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold more than 10 times as many bibles as we could."

"Yes, this does seem unlikely", the minister agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."

Louie shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.

Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!”

“A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ------o-o-o-or-------- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??"

A "WOW!" message in 1 minute and 41 seconds!

Watch Tamara Lowe cover lots of bases in a short time

while giving an awesome message.

(Click above for the You Tube browser page to open)

THE SILENT SERMON

A member of a certain church, who previously had been attending services regularly, stopped going. After a few weeks, the preacher decided to visit him.

It was a chilly evening. The pastor found the man at home alone, sitting before a blazing fire. Guessing the reason for his preacher's visit, the man welcomed him, led him to a comfortable chair near the fireplace...and waited.

The preacher made himself at home but said nothing. In the grave silence, he contemplated the dance of the flames around the burning logs. After some minutes, the preacher took the fire tongs, carefully picked up a brightly burning ember and placed it to one side of the hearth all alone, then he sat back in his chair, still silent.

The host watched all this in quiet contemplation. As the one lone ember's flame flickered and diminished, there was a momentary glow and then its fire was no more. Soon it was cold and dead.

Not a word had been spoken since the initial greeting. The preacher glanced at his watch and realized it was time to leave. He slowly stood up, picked up the cold, dead ember and placed it back in the middle of the fire. Immediately it began to glow, once more with the light and warmth of the burning coals around it.

As the preacher reached the door to leave, his host said with a tear running down his cheek, 'Thank you so much for your visit and especially for the firey sermon. I will be back in church next Sunday.

We live in a world today, which tries to say too much with too little. Consequently, few listen. Sometimes the best sermons are the ones left unspoken.

Johnny's mother looked out the window and noticed him
'playing church' with their cat. He had the cat sitting quietly
and he was preaching to it.

She smiled and went about her work.

A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the

open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.

She called out, 'Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!'

Johnny looked up at her and said,

'He should have thought about that before he joined my church.'

I was shocked, confused, bewildered
As I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
Nor the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp--
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
The alcoholics and the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
Who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell,
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, 'What's the deal?
I would love to hear Your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made a mistake.

'And why is everyone so quiet,
So somber - give me a clue.'
'Hush, child,' He said, 'they're all in shock.
No one thought they'd be seeing you.'

JUDGE NOT!!

Every saint has a PAST...
Every sinner has a FUTURE

PECANS IN THE CEMETERY

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just

inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of

nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing them.

'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me' said one boy.

Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he

thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate.

Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..'

He just knew what it was.. He jumped back on his bike and rode off.

Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard!

Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.'

The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.'

When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard , 'One for you, one for me.

One for you, one for me.'

The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's

see if we can see the Lord..'

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still

unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought

iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a

glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all... Now let's

go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done.'

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of

the kid on the bike.

An Old Farmer's Advice

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and

bull-strong.

*Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a

John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...
not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner
than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never

gonna happen anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes

the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older

and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering

you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a

Rain Dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to

do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to

deal with watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta

that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot

easier than puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence,

try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care Deeply. Speak

kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Are you Rich or Poor?

Most of the time, this depends on

your perspective!

Click on the question mark

to check your perspective...

(PowerPoint viewer required - just click and give it time to load)
Need the viewer? Click here to get it free.

The Haircut

A young boy had just received his driver's permit and asked his father if they could discuss his use of the

car. His father said he would make a deal with his

son. "You bring your grades up from a C to a B

average, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut

and we'll talk about the car."

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer and they agreed on it. After about six weeks his father said, "Son, I’ve been real proud. You brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm real disappointed you didn't get your hair cut."

The young man paused a moment then said, "You

know Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had

long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, and Moses

had long hair. There's even a strong argument

that Jesus had long hair."

To this his father replied, "Did you also notice that

they all walked everywhere they went?"

Reverand Ole was the pastor of the local

Norwegian Lutheran Church, and Pastor Sven was the

minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the

road. I saw them yesterday standing by the road,

pounding a sign into the ground that read:

Da End iss Near!

Turn Yourself Aroundt Now

Before It's Too Late!

As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his

window and yelled, "Leave us alone you religious nuts!"

From the curve we heard screeching tires and a splash...

Reverand Ole turns to Pastor Sven and asks,

"Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust say

"Bridge Out"?

Do you know what else happened

to U. S. Airways flight 1549 on the

Hudson River January 15, 2009?

Larsen Becomes a Catholic

Each Friday night after work, Larsen would fire up his outdoor grill

and cook a venison steak. But all of Larsen's neighbors were

Catholic... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating

meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they

finally talked to their Priest.

The Priest came to visit Larsen, and suggested that he become

a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Larsen attended Mass, and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said,

"You were born a Lutheran, and raised a Lutheran, but now you

are a Catholic."

Larsen's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived,

and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he

rushed into Larsen's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to

scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Larsen, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted:

"You were born a deer, you were raised a deer, but now you

are a catfish..”

Did you know that we receive a present every single day?

Click on the box to receive yours!

(PowerPoint viewer required - just click and give it time to load)

Need the viewer? Click here to get it free.

JESUS IS WATCHING

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus is watching you.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. After hearing nothing for a while, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.' Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. 'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that
he is watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

'I'm Moses,' replied the bird..

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The same kind of people that would name a Doberman, Jesus.'

How about checking out this beautiful

presentation by the Canadian Bible Society

of Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8, 11?

Just click on the cross!

How Are You Going to Finish?

Do you know who Nick Vujicic is?

Do you want to be inspired?

How about being inspired, (and I mean REALLY inspired),

by a young man born with no arms and no legs.

What awesome and powerful messages he delivers

while leaving few dry eyes in the crowd.

Click here to check out one of his video clips.

Click here to check out another of his clips.

Click here to check out yet another of his clips.

Click on his photo to go to his website.

"No Arms, No Legs, No Worries"

Check out his latest DVDs here.

WOW!

AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS

An atheist was walking through the woods.

”What majestic trees!”
“What powerful rivers!”
“What beautiful animals!”
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard
a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly
bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He
looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear
was closing in on him..

He looked over his shoulder again, & the
bear was even closer.

He tripped & fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw
that the bear was right on top of him,
reaching for him with his left paw & raising
his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out,
"Oh my God!"

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a
voice came out of the sky.

"You deny my existence for all these years,
teach others I do not exist and even
credit creation to a cosmic accident."

"Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?"
"Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light,
"It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
And the bear dropped his right paw, brought
both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

10 Things God will not ask on that day...

(PowerPoint Viewer Required)

(Click to advance frames)

The Great Physician

The next time you feel like God can't use you,

just remember:

(PowerPoint Viewer Required)

We All Need A Tree!

Click the Tree!

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) Don't hit your sister back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

Keep The Fork

There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things 'in order', she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes.

She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.

Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.

"There's one more thing," she said excitedly.

"What's that?" came the Pastor's reply.

"This is very important," the young woman continued. "I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand."

The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.

"That surprises you, doesn't it?" the young woman asked.

"Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the Pastor.

The young woman explained. "My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along it's message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!"

"So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to tell them: 'Keep your fork, the best is yet to come.'"

The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming.

At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, "What's with the fork?" And over and over he smiled.

During his message, the Pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would

not be able to stop thinking about it either.

He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork, let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come. Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us.

Show your friends how much you care. Remember to always be there for them, even when you need them more. For you never know when it may be their time to "Keep your fork."

CATHOLIC HORSES IN IRELAND

One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.

Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race!

Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest as the old priest stepped onto the track. Sure enough, as the 5th race horses came to the starting gate, the riest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.

Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.

Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would belss for the 6th race. The priest again blessed a horse.

Mitch bet big on it, and it won. Mitch was elated! As the races continued, the priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one ended up coming in first.

Bye and bye, Mitch was pulling in some serious money. By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true.

He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.

True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day. Mitch also observed the priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag.

Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag.

He then watched dumbfounded as the old nag came in dead last. Mitch, in a state of shock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was.

Confronting the old priest, he demanded, "Father! What happened?"

"All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you, I've lost every cent of my savings - all of it!"

The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. "Son,", he said, "that's the problem with you Lutherans - you can't tell the difference betwen a simple blessing and last rites."

Listen to Logan Henderson's Telephone Call

Logan Henderson was 13 years old when he made a telephone call to KSBJ 89.3 FM, a contemporary christian radio station located in Houston, Texas. On October 26, 2007, Logan, who is home schooled and lives on the family ranch near Hyannis, Nebraska called Mike, a morning DJ at the station, and recounted an extremely profound conversation that he'd had with God. Various news reports of this call indicate that Logan frequently listens to KSBJ via the Sky Angels satellite radio network. This clip has touched the hearts of thousands, and will touch yours too.

Posted with permission of KSBJ 89.3 FM

Permission granted 25 June 2008

Click the heart below to listen!

(Please allow time for the clip to load)

How About a Little Music!

Did you know that "us Lutherans" have a song just for us?

"The Lutherans Song", written and performed by Michael Bridges and George Baum, known as Lost and Found, was commissioned by the ELCA for it's 2003 National Youth Gathering in Atlanta, GA.

Click below for the You Tube page!